


Municipal Madness

by IndependenceDayChild17



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Municipal Government AU, Supernatural Elements, hollstein fluff, with some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndependenceDayChild17/pseuds/IndependenceDayChild17
Summary: Local government auditor Carmilla Karnstein had never wanted to learn about the City's waste collection. That was until Laura Hollis stepped out of the garbage truck.





	1. Prefunctory Prelude

It was too goddam early for this.

 

Carmilla groaned and slowly hauled herself from her car. Four AM was not an acceptable hour to be awake no matter what anyone said. Not to mention she was going to spend the whole day riding around in a garbage truck with some hulking, bro of a man. What she wouldn’t give for a pillow.

 

She sat down on a grimy table outside the garage and waited, sunglasses pulled over her eyes to drown out whatever there was to see. She was half way to taking a catnap when a blaring **_honk_ ** woke her.

 

She jumped up, glasses falling from her face, clipboard tumbling from her hands. “What the frilly – “ She leaned down to pick up the offending items and heard the truck’s door slam shut. “Who the holy – “ Righting herself she looked up, expecting said bro, but was immediately speechless.

 

“Uh, Ms. Karnstein?”

 

Gods she was adorable. Preciously small, honey-blonde hair pulled back by a _Veronica Mars_ snapback, worn jeans and boots, and an annoyingly bright, yellow safety vest pulled over a t-shirt printed with an assortment of cats. Oh god. She was done for.

 

Carmilla gulped and ran a hand through her hair in practiced nonchalance. “Um, yes. That’s me. And who might you be, Cutie?”

 

Something she said (probably the pet name) made the woman’s nose crinkle in the most captivating way Carmilla had ever seen. “I’m Laura. Laura Hollis.” She held out a hand, which Carmilla gladly took, and held, and waited a bit to long to let go of. “So you’re the auditor?” Her eyes flicked up and down Carmilla’s body. “You’re, uh, not exactly what I expected.”

 

Carmilla smirked, “Neither are you, Cupcake.” They stood in the yard awkwardly for a second: Laura with her hands stuffed into her back pockets and Carmilla tightly grasping her clipboard for support, sunglasses resting casually on her head. “So – “ Carmilla cleared her throat, “Should we get this soiree started?”

 

“What?” Laura snapped, seemingly startled. “Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that. Monday’s are a twelve hour shift, so we should get going.”

 

The clipboard clattered to the ground. “What?!?”


	2. Sanitation Soiree

Carmilla was _so_ bored.

 

The first and second dumpster had been interesting. She’d watched with rapt attention as Laura Hollis had expertly joy-sticked the can up and over the cab to dump it into the truck bed, but that had been hours ago. And it wasn’t even eight AM yet!

 

Carmilla was supposed to be recording how long it took to load each can – collecting data for an “award-winning” audit according to her boss, the Mayor – and she was, but gods was it boring. And the smell was most definitely not helping.

 

Her company on the other hand was definitively hurting. Laura, while seemingly pleasant (at least to Carmilla’s eyes) at first had quickly entered annoying, jabbering, nerd territory. Carmilla had made the tiny mistake of mentioning she watched Orphan Black (after sever and brutal verbal prodding) and the dimwit had been on a roll ever since.

 

“ . . . and I know that what Delphine did was weird, and way crazy, but Cophine are made for each other! I can’t wait for the next season to air, I just _know_ that – “

 

Carmilla cut her off with an over-the-top cough. “Sorry, sweetheart. Do you think we can just listen to music for a while? I need to, uh, concentrate on these numbers.”

 

“Oh.” Laura looked like a kicked puppy. “Yeah, we can totally do that. Actually, I have a CD right here . . . “ Carmilla frowned as she fed the disc into a semi-rusty boom box sitting precariously on the dashboard. A CD? What century was this girl – Oh gods! Was that _Constant Craving_.

 

Laura’s face went beat red. “Oh! I didn’t remember that that – “ She hit the next button and a Melissa Etheridge song began immediately. Carmilla’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “O-kay! Maybe not.” She giggled nervously and turned on a mind-numbing, pop radio station. “Anyway . . . It’s time to head to the landfill.”

 

Carmilla quirked an eyebrow. “Well, buckle up, Creampuff. We’ve got a long ride ahead of us.”

 

­­­---

 

Carmilla had been, thankfully, incorrect about the drive to the landfill. They arrived about twenty minutes later and quickly ascended the stinking, dusty hill. The whole way there, Laura hadn’t said a word and it was becoming clear to Carmilla that silence was a particularly agonizing brand of torture for the other woman.

 

She rolled her eyes at the pained look on the girl’s face before deciding she had to say something. “So, what’s that down there?” She pointed, squinting through the dim light of sunrise.

 

Laura looked over briefly, her face lighting up at the opportunity. “Oh! Well, that’s . . . uh, that’s a pool of water.”

 

Carmilla frowned and set the clipboard down to take a picture with her phone. “I can see that, but what’s it for?” She zoomed in on the tubes that ran from out of the trash-mountain itself, past what looked like a generator, and into the deep, murky water. About 40 or so vultures crowded around it, some sitting on the lopsided dock placed oddly in the middle of the pool.

 

Meanwhile, Laura shrugged. “I think it collects the run off. They used to pump that water into a pond on the other side of the hill, but that stopped a few months ago. I’m not sure why.”

 

Carmilla squinted, trying to use her phone as a magnifier. Was there something moving beneath the – dammit. They had crested the hill and now Carmilla couldn’t see it. She took a deep, frustrated breath and almost gagged. “Sweet heavenly - !” She held her nose and Laura chuckled at her. “Why? Why does it smell _this_ bad? What did I do to deserve this?” She looked up to the heavens, one hand raised dramatically in supplication. Laura laughed and shot her a beaming smile.

 

Carmilla couldn’t help but return it.

 

\---

 

The day was now, according to Laura, half way over. They had just finished collecting trash from all the businesses in town and had moved on to apartments. In the meantime, Laura had babbled about every lesbian television couple to ever exist – even the subtext ones.

 

“So . . .” Laura trailed off, a seemingly well rehearsed tirade on the merits of Xena Warrior Princess blessedly complete, “Enough about me. What about you? Do you, uh, play softball?”

 

Carmilla frowned, and pushed her sunglasses up into her hair to better stare at the other woman. “Do I look like a especially active person to you?” She was currently lounging as comfortably as possible in the tiny truck cab, boots kicked over the dashboard and arms sprawled out from her sides.

 

Laura gave her a small smile, “I guess not.” There was an awkward pause. “But, um, do you have any pets? A cat maybe?” Her voice squeaked on the last word, causing Carmilla to ungraciously snort.

 

“Cupcake, if you’re stealthily trying to ask me if I’m a card carrying member of the Tegan and Sara fan club then the answer is no.” Laura’s face instantly fell, her mouth thinning to a sad frown. “But . . .” Carmilla shrugged, drawing the word out. “I’d be remiss not to mention my enjoyment of sex with women.”

 

Laura chocked on the drink she’d just tried to swallow, and had to pull the truck over. Carmilla frowned, and leaned over the two and half foot center console to check on her. “You alright, Creampuff? I wouldn’t want to cut our time short.”

 

“Haaa!” Laura let out a high-pitched, laugh-like hiss. “Yeah. Yep! No problems here. Just – “ she coughed a few times, and banged a fist roughly against her chest, “Just went down the wrong pipe is all. Nothing weird, everything is perfectly . . . normal.” She pulled back on to the road.

 

Carmilla smirked at her but leaned back, pleased with the reaction she’d gotten. “Whatever you say, Cutie.”

 

\---

 

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and Carmilla had soon been dropped back off at the garage with a promise from Laura to “See you tomorrow, Carm!” She made her way home as if in a haze, the events of the day not all together unpleasant despite the excruciating smell and the fact that she had been awake for almost thirteen hours at this point.

 

She opened the door mechanically, thinking of Laura Hollis’ bright smile, the way she nervously pushed at her hair, and the crinkle just between her eyebrows when she laughed. It had been one of Carmilla’s better days in a long while, and she thought she might actually be looking forward to the next as she sat down, glass of whiskey in hand.

 

The doorbell rang.

 

Carmilla groaned and contemplated just ignoring the annoying buzzer as she slowly sank further into the leather cushions of her couch. “Kitty! I know you’re in there.” The voice of Matska Belmonde was smooth and confident, loud without force, and the last thing Carmilla had wanted to hear at 5:30 after a long day on a garbage truck. The door swung open gracefully after a few seconds, and Carmilla’s elegant, older sister sashayed inside.

 

“Mattie.” Carmilla snapped after draining her glass. “What an unwelcome surprise.”

 

It appeared Mattie had not been listening, however, as she whirled past Carmilla into the kitchen. “Mother sent me.” The explanation was simple enough, but it caused Carmilla’s entire body to tense. “She insisted on me coming over to feed you. As if – “ Carmilla heard the door to the refrigerator open and shut her eyes.

 

A soft thump was all that told Carmilla Mattie had shut the door. There was no yelling, no eloquent rant that would make Carmilla feel all at once defensive, jealous, and guilty. Instead she heard the soft murmurs of her sister calling a Chinese take-out restaurant; the almost tender opening and closing of a cabinet door; the familiar gurgle of liquid being poured into a glass.

 

“I’ve ordered food.” Mattie slid onto the couch next to her, her own glass of whiskey in hand, and gave Carmilla a sad smile. Carmilla didn’t bother smiling back. “Now, Kitten,” Mattie started with a sigh, placing her glass un-sipped on the coffee table, “Why don’t you tell me about your day, hmm?”

 

Carmilla sighed loudly. “Mattie, is this real – “ She froze at the look Mattie gave her, eerily similar to the warning look of their mother. She rolled her eyes, trying to shake the feeling, “Fine. If you insist . . . I’ve been riding around on a garbage truck all day, and I would very much like to be left alone.”

 

Mattie immediately burst into laughter causing Carmilla to huff furiously. “Is that what that smell is?” She laughed some more and Carmilla stomped away to get more liquor. “Oh, come now, dear.” Mattie had followed. “You didn’t really expect me to not laugh, did you? I mean, _my_ sister? On a _garbage_ truck?” She laughed some more as Carmilla downed her second glass.

 

“This is all Mother’s fault, you know. She insisted that this would be good for the City, and now I smell like the bottom of an abattoir. That gods forsaken landfill will surely be the death of me, or at least my sense of smell.” Carmilla swiped the bottle off the counter angrily, barely noticing Mattie’s sudden look of concern as she stomped back to the couch.

 

“You were at the landfill?” Mattie asked, slipping into the seat next to her again. She slowly took a sip of her glass.

 

“Obviously. There aren’t many other places to take all the trash.” Carmilla snorted at her own joke, her head suddenly feeling lighter, buzzier. She broke into a smile and her shoulders relax for the first time since Mattie had arrived.

 

“I see.” There was a knock at the door and Mattie stood. Or maybe Mattie stood and then there was a knock? No, that didn’t make sense . . . Carmilla shook her head slightly and watched, befuddled, as Mattie brought the food over and pulled out two plastic forks.

 

“Oh my gods.” Carmilla moaned as the first taste of savory rice hit her lips. She dove in, barely stopping to breath; only halting long enough to take more measured sips of the whiskey. Once she was done she looked up and frowned at the way the light burst through the curtains. What time was is? Shouldn’t it be dark?

 

“Darling,” Mattie’s voice was warm as she brushed a few strands of hair from Carmilla’s eyes. “Promise me you’ll be careful at the landfill.” Carmilla rolled her eyes. Of course Mattie would nag her about this too. But then her eyes hardened and Carmilla flinched away. “Promise me.”

 

“Okay.” Carmilla sputtered, her muddled brain frightened and confused all at once, but if Mattie noticed she ignored it.

 

“Now! Let’s watch some of that wonderful show . . . um, what do you call it? O-I-T-N-B?” Carmilla giggled as Mattie navigated Netflix. “Oh, yes. _Orange is the New Black_. Look! The new season is up!”

 

She took another drink.

 

\---

 

Day two began much the same as day one, but this time Carmilla had things to say. She had just seen the first few episodes of _Orange is the New Black_ and it seemed that Laura could talk about the show forever, or at least three hours.

 

Today, the rambling was . . . well captivating. Laura was just so passionate, even about small, seemingly irrelevant things. It was refreshing to Carmilla whose world usually revolved around trying not to fall asleep at the office and pulling petty pranks on William. Instead she’d been smiling, not all the time – she had to keep her air of mystery after all – but just enough to get Laura to beam back at her.

 

They were headed to the landfill when Laura turned back on the Top 40 station, Justin Bieber’s voice scalding Carmilla’s ears. “Nope.” She snapped, leaning all the way across the cab to promptly shut off the offending box.

 

“Hey!” Laura complained, her eyes briefly flickering to Carmilla’s face. “What are you doing? I always listen to music on the way to the landfill.”

 

Carmilla shook her head and pulled out her phone. “That was not music, Cutie. Hear, let me just . . . “ She quickly found the audio jack and plugged the phone in. “Now, tell me what you think of this.”

 

Laura rolled her eyes, though Carmilla could tell she was trying not to smile. “Like I’ve never heard _Cherry Bomb_ before.” She made a disgruntled noise but began singing along anyway. Half way through Carmilla noticed Laura was banging her head to the song in odd, but apt places; she couldn’t help but laugh and join her.

 

\---

 

On the way back to the garage, last landfill trip of the day complete, Laura turned the music down to smile at her. “Hey, I just wanted to say that . . . I’ve had a really fun time with you today.” She finished quickly, her words almost slurring together.

 

Carmilla chuckled, allowing a small smile to form on her face. “I’ve had a really fun day with you too, Creampuff.” There was a moment of comfortable silence before they both seemed to realize what they’d admitted. Carmilla cleared her throat, “So, how did you end up driving the truck?” Laura’s shoulders tensed suddenly, “I mean, I’m sure it’s a fine job, I was just – “

 

“No it’s alright.” She let out a slight sigh. “When I was in college I studied to be a journalist. I wanted to help people, get the truth out, right the wrongs of the world . . . “ Her voice swelled with passion before dropping off. “But, my mom died half way through my sophomore year and I just couldn't leave my dad.”

 

Carmilla’s breath hitched and she frowned. How was this woman making her feel so much? “Oh, I – I’m really sorry, Laura.” She murmured, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder.

 

Laura just shrugged. “Eh, I’m okay now.” There was a long pause as Carmilla tried to think of something to say next. They were getting close to the garage; maybe she should invite Laura for drinks? Fortunately, Laura said something first. “But anyways, what about you? I didn’t think auditors did this sort of thing.”

 

Carmilla looked around the cab and shrugged. “Well, my one true love was philosophy, but there aren’t too many jobs that actually use that. Once I got out of university I was stuck. My mother,” Carmilla paused, trying not to let the memories rush into her mind, “Well, she got me this job.”

 

Laura nodded, and then frowned, “Wait, how did your mom get you this job?”

 

Carmilla’s took a second to glance at her before pulling the sunglass back over her eyes. They’d just pulled into the garage. “Oh, she’s the mayor.”

 

Suddenly, the brakes screeched and Carmilla was propelled forwards, almost hitting her head on the dashboard. “What the – “

 

“Your mother is the mayor?” Laura squealed, eyes wide.

 

Carmilla frowned. This was an unusual reaction. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Cup – “

 

“The mayor is evil.” Laura declared before jumping out of the truck.

 

“Um, excuse me!” Carmilla stalked after her, clipboard gripped tightly in her hand. “Maybe I have no love for my mother, Short Stack, but she’s still the woman who raised me.”

 

“I think you should go now, Carmilla.” Laura seethed without turning around.

 

Carmilla stopped in her tracks. “I thought we were having a good time!” She called, holding out hope for another beaming smile.

 

Laura didn’t turn.


End file.
